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From the Uncyclopedia definition of "Astronomy":

Astronomers and Coffee

As the principal diversion of the professional astronomer is to operate a large phallus (telescope) all night long, astronomers are well known for their addiction to coffee. This is especially true for astronomers who use radio telescopes and can observe all day and all night long. Over time the following guidelines have been developed at radio observatories regarding coffee strength:

* West Coast Astronomer: 2 scoops of coffee per pot.
* East Coast Astronomer: 4 scoops of coffee per pot.
* European Astronomer: 6 scoops of coffee per pot.
* Mexican Astronomer: 8 scoops of coffee per pot.
* UMass/FCRAO Astronomer: 10 scoops of coffee per pot.