I wonder how much I internalized or how much went over my head when I was younger and in IT.

I *know*! It was saddening to realize just a few days ago that when my friends in college told me they thought I was getting the benefit of "reverse sexism," that *that* was sexism.

It *is* mentally and physically exhausting.

Exactly! Every time I do work on my PhD now, I also have to fight intrusive thoughts related to my former advisor. Doing a PhD is hard enough work without that too!