I ran across a blog post on gift certificates/cards on some cheesy marketing blog, but the post makes a point. Gift cards are more purposeful than cash or checks - God I hate checks, I actually have to go to a bank to cash them! I'd rather nothing than a check - but less likely to be an undesired item than specific gifts.

Another interesting point he makes is what he calls the "language of love"

In fact, of the five love languages — words of affirmation, giving gifts, physical touch, quality time, and acts of service — giving gifts is near the bottom.

I think for me, "words of affirmation," which I interpret to be "emotional support," is on top for me. "Quality time" is #2, and I'm starting to appreciate "acts of service" - I think I used to be entirely ignorant of them, but T$ appears to be generous with giving them, and I'm starting to notice them more. For example, when I am feeling stressed what I want is for him to tell me that I'm smart and a good person and the work should be easy for me - words of affirmation. What he does is he changes the topic, talking about something else that I enjoy or would be interested in discussing - an act of service in that he's doing something to distract me. I used to think it was from a wish to not discuss it, but I'm starting to see it for what it is.

Physical touch is a mixed bag for me. Small things like minor PDA (holding hands, hugging, horsing around) or doing so in private are important to me, things like sex are less so. Most guys I've known seem to be the other way around, in that PDA is not their cup of tea while they crave intimacy in private. Gift giving is also mixed. I lean heavily on it in the early stages of a relationship, and cut back later. I like big gestures occasionally though, like I wear a necklace that T$ gave me just over a year ago, after we'd been dating for two years. It's nice to have a physical reminder of him all the time, and less ... obtrusive or meaningful than a ring would be.