this is not a journal title

I've known a couple of gifted children, and they were pushed to the edge by well-meaning but overbearing parents.

I went to a HS for gifted kids, I'm forced to admit. A couple of us did have parents like this, but not all. I've taught a few times at a geek summer camp (CTY) though, and lots of the ~~students I saw there weren't particularly~~ lots of the parents I saw there didn't have particularly gifted kids, they just pushed them until the breaking point.

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marquiswildbill.livejournal.com

Jeebus.
I've known kids who were pushed but none like that. It doesn't take a psychologist to see that the pressure she was under from her parents cracked her. Maybe it's because of my own intellect and the trouble I (still) have with social stuff and life coping skills, but I feel terrible for this girl. That she didn't go on a shooting spree is impressive.
I'm really shocked the defense didn't try a temporary insanity argument.
So very sad.

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I'm hoping they didn't and she'll later appeal on the claim that she had an incompetent defense. If they DID try temporary insanity and child abuse and failed, then I lose even more faith in the US justice system. There's not that much left, folks!

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oh my God, the poor girl. i really sympathize with her. um.

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Hah. And sadly I do know one person who's held a knife to their father.

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yeah. um. i don't want to mention this to my therapist.

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Ah. I was assuming that you were joking. I'm now assuming/hoping that while your comment may have been serious, the event was not - that it was a passing thing that was easily and quickly disposed of.

I know what you mean about not wanting to tell - if it's not something for real, you don't want the therapist to go blowing it all out of proportion, telling your parents, locking you up, drugging you up (or more so), whatever. But if it ever is serious, I'm sure you know that the best thing you can do to protect your mother and yourself actually IS to tell your therapist. It's better to deal with it when it's starting to become an issue than later. The person I know who held a knife to her father, her older sister get cops to come to her house and take her to a hospital for a few days. Don't let it get that far - and you probably know whether or not it's going to.

You're a CTYer, you're smart. :) Just don't forget to consult your head occasionally in addition to your emotions. You'll be off to college in a year or months or something, and that'll give you some nice distance from them. Take it day by day until then.

Want I should friendslock this post or something?

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yeah...i didn't actually do anything. i was just really mad and i had a knife. i didn't do anything though. you don't have to friendslock or anything...it's not like my parents or therapist will find it.

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Heh. my parents found my old blog a while ago, through my own stupidity.

But yeah, I always had the feeling in the back of my mind that occasional violent thoughts were normal - what teenager goes through life without ever hating someone? We've near criminalized just having the thoughts, even though for the vast majority of us we immediately reject it.

And now I'm recalling some discussions over at

sammka's about whether we might all really be killers hiding inside. :-P

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And now I'm recalling some discussions over at sammka's about whether we might all really be killers hiding inside. :-P

Interestingly, I also understand this kid. My parents certainly put a lot of pressure on me, and could get abusive. By the time I was 11, I was violent at school because I experienced it at home. It took a while for me to become the sweet quakerly girl who types this comment to you ;).

I don't think this kid should have to be tried as an adult. I blame her, since violence is, you know, bad, and I'm sure she knew what she was doing. But I doubt that spending 8 years with hardened adult criminals is going to be the best thing for her. I mean, after 8 years, she'll be my age, and have a full life ahead of her, which she can spend doing something productive or pursuing a long criminal career. It doesn't seem like throwing her in with the big dogs is the best plan...

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My feelings about who is to "blame" for the crime is similar to how I feel about crimes committed by certain demographics - for example, black people in New Orleans looting TVs after Katrina. The individual who committed the crime is guilty of the crime and should have some form of punishment / rehabilitation. But also, the society needs to address the influences that make these crimes appear to be a viable option for the perpetrators. In this case, that would mean that the court should also address the parents' behavior.

And yeah, I think the girl needs a child psychologist, not hard time in an adult prison.

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Yeah, I totally agree with your feelings on blame. Though I don't know what you mean by the court addressing the parents' behavior... I mean, it's not like you can fine parents for being mean. Sadly enough.

I really do think there should be more addressing this. Especially among middle-class parents. Some parents are tragically uninvolved with their children's lives. Some are way, way too involved. Kids need social lives, they need consolation when they don't succeed at things... overall they need to be allowed to be kids, not trick ponies. I hate hate hate parents like these (not like they deserved to die though).

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Well, only one died. I think the remaining parent should be brought up on charges of emotional/psychological abuse, and perhaps physical abuse if the day they made her stand naked in a corner was a cold one. Or at least some form of negligence for that last one. Whether the parents were "being mean" or abusive is not something I personally am an expert in, and it seems like it should be a concern in this case but has not been addressed.

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Unfortunately I'm not sure if emotional or psychological abuse is even a crime. There are terrifyingly few protections for children against this as far as I can tell.

Making a kid stand naked though does reek of some form of sexual abuse, though.

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If you want to talk about evil parents or something, feel free to AIM me or something, k? Unless they have a habit of grounding you from the computer...

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heh, i've actually been blocked from AIM today...i'm on gtalk though. shh don't tell my dad, i don't think he's realized i've got that yet!

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