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asterrocreality: something got me crying about peeper again last night.
dream: [part 1] the lifegem i ordered from peeper's ashes came in, but it was the wrong color, and i'd forgotten to have her name engraved on it. [part 2] a salesman asked if i'd rather give that ten thousand to him to get her back then have the life gem. i said yes. he said he had one question: was that really what i wanted. i said i had one question: would she come back as a zombie or otherwise undead. i answered yes to him, he answered no to me, so he did it. i failed to ask that she be restored to health.
reality: i do keep thinking i want a lifegem from her ashes, silly as it sounds. i don't even know if there's enough of her. why did i keep dreaming that things went wrong, and it was my fault? last night i kept thinking it was too soon for me to have gotten gabe: i'm not over peeper, i keep wanting him to be the same as her, i don't appreciate him for himself, i want something other than what i did get. i still have the easy out of giving him to my neighbors. i don't wnat to do that, it's not fair to him. i don't love him. he's not the same. no one will be, i know that, but i still want the same, and htat's the problem.
dream: [part 1] the lifegem i ordered from peeper's ashes came in, but it was the wrong color, and i'd forgotten to have her name engraved on it. [part 2] a salesman asked if i'd rather give that ten thousand to him to get her back then have the life gem. i said yes. he said he had one question: was that really what i wanted. i said i had one question: would she come back as a zombie or otherwise undead. i answered yes to him, he answered no to me, so he did it. i failed to ask that she be restored to health.
reality: i do keep thinking i want a lifegem from her ashes, silly as it sounds. i don't even know if there's enough of her. why did i keep dreaming that things went wrong, and it was my fault? last night i kept thinking it was too soon for me to have gotten gabe: i'm not over peeper, i keep wanting him to be the same as her, i don't appreciate him for himself, i want something other than what i did get. i still have the easy out of giving him to my neighbors. i don't wnat to do that, it's not fair to him. i don't love him. he's not the same. no one will be, i know that, but i still want the same, and htat's the problem.
