alone

[asterroc]

Some day I'll stop crying when I read things like

Go with me on the last journey. Never say "I can’t bear to watch it," or "Let it happen in my absence." Everything is easier for me if you are there. Remember that I love you.
--10 Commandments of Parrot Ownership

I didn't wake up. It was 9 in the morning and I went back to sleep and when I woke and uncovered her, she was gone. She'd gone quietly, I never heard it. I wish I hadn't gone back to sleep. her body was pointed towards the water bowl, she was struggling to get to it? her eyes, eye sockets were sunken, dried up. and i wasn't there for her.

Comments

[zandperl.livejournal.com]

Thanks. People who're only used to dogs and cats have a hard time understanding that non-traditional pets can be just as personable and loving, and we can get just as attached to them.

My vet was trying to prepare me for the thought of putting Peeper down, and I interpretted that at first as that I *should* do so, and told him I flat out absolutely refused. I'm grateful in a way that she spared me that choice, and I'm glad that she passed away at home, but I'm torn between whether it would've been harder if I'd been holding her at the time, or better because I'd know I was there for her. She was only a couple feet from my bed, but I didn't *know*, I just found her afterwards, motionless and cold.