alone

[asterroc]

Some day I'll stop crying when I read things like

Go with me on the last journey. Never say "I can’t bear to watch it," or "Let it happen in my absence." Everything is easier for me if you are there. Remember that I love you.
--10 Commandments of Parrot Ownership

I didn't wake up. It was 9 in the morning and I went back to sleep and when I woke and uncovered her, she was gone. She'd gone quietly, I never heard it. I wish I hadn't gone back to sleep. her body was pointed towards the water bowl, she was struggling to get to it? her eyes, eye sockets were sunken, dried up. and i wasn't there for her.

Comments

[zandperl.livejournal.com]

She was definitely glad of every second I spent with her. Before bringing her back home, I visited her at the animal hospital and sat with her and scratched her head for two hours. Yes, two hours I did nothing but cradle her in my hand so she didn't fall out and scratch her. The vet told me that she begged for scratches from everyone who passed by her cage. :-P I spent a lot of time holding her and scratching her when I brought her home, but I also left her in the cage a lot to try and let her have time to heal instead of draining all her energy. :-\ I still had hope. If I'd known she wasn't going to make it, I would have just held her 24/7 until she passed.

*sigh* What-ifs don't do any good. I've got Gabe on my shoulder and we're going to go about my normal evening business. I've been leaving him alone on his cage too much lately.