Control

[asterroc]

A couple of my students recently have asked me ... well, they said, "you know what it's like to drink a lot, you were a college student." And my answer was no, I don't know what it's like. "C'mon, you have to have drunk." "Yeah right, of course you drank." And no, I didn't. I didn't really drink anything until grad school, and even to this day the most I've had in a night is three. I think I've done this on three separate occasions, and one time I really thought I was going to puke and fall over with just that little.

So the question is why not? And reading through some literature on binge drinking, I figured it out. There is exactly one thing in the world that I can control: Myself. I am not willing to give that up.

Comments

[ayashi.livejournal.com]

I've felt the same way :) also hearing people in my classes talk about how they can't even remember anything about the previous night is very scary to me. I can't imagine waking up and not being able to remember what I'd been doing!

[zandperl.livejournal.com]

The one time I thought I was going to barf, I was out with some REALLY close friends, one of whom was recently un-Mormoned, and I didn't have any water handy - we were at a bring-your-own-beverages Karaoke club and had only brought Smirnoff and beer. When I realized how assy I felt, I went to the front desk and shelled out more than two bucks for a can of Sprite. Man, did that help. Three drinks of alcohol w/o water and the *dehydration* was kicking my ass worse than anything else.

[spazzy444.livejournal.com]

Amen!

I RARELY drink and the most drunk I've gotten was on my 21st B-day and I was at the point of slurred speech but thats it.
I don't like the feeling of being drunk, mostly because I don't have the control over myself that I'd like (ie: walking straight, I don't lose my morals)

[zandperl.livejournal.com]

Right, I don't lose my morals either, though if I have a full drink I'll occasionally speak before thinking. I don't like the woozy feeling all that much. And besides, I'm usually the one driving. If I have a passenger, I won't drink at all. If I don't, I will have a single drink and wait an hour after finishing it before driving.

[kadath.livejournal.com]

Honestly, even when I've been falling over drunk, I've never been tempted to drive or sleep with unsuitable men or steal or whatever. Booze doesn't get rid of your morals, it just reveals what you actually wanted to do all along.

[zandperl.livejournal.com]

Well, it interferes w/ decision-making skills. If a situation comes up where you have to make a choice and you would've been uncertain while sober, you will also be uncertain when drunk, and you will not be able to properly weigh the alternatives.

Here's another one: should a drunk driver who gets in a fatal accident be charged with manslaughter (unintentional) or murder (premeditated)? A year ago I would've said murder: the person chose to get drunk and should be held responsible for his/her actions. Today I realize (from interacting w/ my students) that while they choose to get drunk and choose to drive while drunk, many of them do not fully understand the risks they are taking, just like we argue that minors should not face the same penalties as they do not understand the consequences of their actions. Yeah these people are adults, and it's sad that they don't understand what they're doing, but cognitive development isn't nailed to the age of 18, or even 21, it depends upon the individual.

[kadath.livejournal.com]

The worst judgement error I've ever made while blitzed is thinking my hands were steady enough to pour another drink.

I'm not defending drinking and driving, or getting into fistfights, or whatever--either I've never been drunk enough to have my inhibitions fall that far, or I'm really inhibited.

[zandperl.livejournal.com]

And you also have good friends who do not know your weaknesses and try to take advantage of them, or do not have their own inhibitions lowered enough to do it. Date rape wouldn't necessarily require that your inhibitions were lowered, just your physical ability to resist.

[meleah.livejournal.com]

Ok, I totally disagree with this entire thread. I'm a drinker - a 'lush' even. I love it, I was drunk or on drugs for a good portion of my undergraduate, I'm still a high acheiver, I'm still responsible, I know how to separate work and play, and now that I'm in the US and a faculty member, anything illegal only enters my sphere on a very, very, rare occasion.

Nevertheless - I very rarely, no matter how irresponsible, drove under the influence of anything. In this day and age (and I'm at least 10 years past legal in my country, less here), if you get behind the wheel of a car under the influence of anything, at any age, you KNOW that's an irresponsible choice. There's a degree of premeditation - at the point you have the drink/take the drug and know your only way out is driving, that's the point you needed to make another choice/choose another way home/find some crash space. If you didn't, then yeah, i'm sorry - you're responsible. End of story. We KNOW cars are a lethal weapon. You operate that weapon in a situation other than prime, knowlingly (and we all know when we are drunk/high or going to be so based on what we plan on drinking/doing) then you are responsible. Sorry, but that's that.

[zandperl.livejournal.com]

Firstly, I don't mean to absolve people of responsibility, let me make that clear. I'm just arguing the degree of premeditation, and the resulting degree of punishment such people should be given.

at the point you have the drink/take the drug and know your only way out is driving,

I think a lot of people don't do that. They drink/take the drug WITHOUT thinking about the next three hours. A child will run out into the street after his baseball without thinking about the fact that he could get hit by a car.

We KNOW cars are a lethal weapon.

They may know it factually, but they do not internalize it to a point where they will act upon it. A slightly more mature kid will think about the fact that cars drive across the street all the time, but will believe he can make it.

This sort of thought process (I feel) would also lead to the same population that's more likely to get into drunk driving accidents, also having higher levels of lung cancer (smoking), and STDs and teen pregnancies (unprotected sex). I need to read more about Piaget's cognitive development theory, but I'm under the impression that he says while most people get these decision-making skills in their teen years, for some it takes a lot longer, if they ever get there.

[rumorofrain.livejournal.com]

Me too! I've never been a "drinker," even in college, and I've never had more than a few drinks at one "sitting" (i.e. party) either.

For me, the question is not, "Why not?" It's, "Why do other people drink so much? And why do they think it's a universal experience?" (Maybe the second question is the answer to the first...)

[zandperl.livejournal.com]

*nods* It's just never held very much appeal for me. Everyone else says it helps them have a good time, or loosen up, but I have a prefectly fun time w/ friends when sober, and I don't need anything to loosen me up w/ strangers - as I've clearly shown to you! I only started touching alcohol in grad school-ish b/c I realized that a few sips won't make me lose control (and I often don't even finish that first glass of wine), and some alcoholic beverages taste better than some non-alcoholic beverages. Not all - I don't drink beer, and last time my parents asked me if I wanted a glass of wine w/ dinner I chose a raspberry smoothie instead (Yum!) - but some. So yeah, when I drink nowadays it's b/c I want the taste that I can't find in a non-alcoholic beverage, and it's only in company of people I trust, and when I'm NOT driving!

[l0stmyrel1g10n.livejournal.com]

i've noticed that after a drink [in Antigua where it's legal!] i tend to loosen up a bit. but never as much as when i'm completely sober and legitimately having fun, such as hanging out with CTYer-like people. my feeling is, if alcohol is necessary for you to have fun, then what you're doing doesn't really count as fun.

[gemini6ice.livejournal.com]

That's a good point, and I think I had it as a reason at some point, although I've forgotten it.

Mine:

1. I feel that if something isn't fulfilling or pleasurable without having to filter the experience, it isn't an experience that is worth having. There are so many things I can do that make me much more content LEGITIMATELY then through artifical control of my emotions. (However, using substances to filter out a necessary but unpleasant and unfulfilling experience seems perfectly fine to me.)
   
2. The risks (expense, hangovers, alcohol poisoning, doing thing you regret later, vomiting) far outweigh the rewards.
   
3. I think i actually combines several reasons into the first one
   

I think you're right about control though, and I admit it may the most fundamental reason of all for me, even if it is buried in my subconscious.

I will indulge myself in Uno's Wildberry Lemonade though, just because it is so damn tasty! Mmm!

[zandperl.livejournal.com]

So what counts as a filter to you? Apparently drugs and alcohol, but what about, say, being around a crush, that filters an experience. Going to a movie w/ friends vs. alone, the friends filter the movie experience. And so on.

[gemini6ice.livejournal.com]

Verbalizing my thoughts is going to be difficult here, because a lot of what I feel on the subject is kind of abstract, thoughts that aren't in words to begin with. I want to draw up a metaphor, but I'm having difficulty wording its justification. drugs and alcohol:filters are stylization in photoshop:: friends, company, ambiance:pasting additional layers in photoshop or juxtaposing bitmaps. One changes it directly; the other provides its own separate experience that complements it. In color theory, we examined relationships of colors. A swatch of grey in a sea of orange is going to look bluish, and our eyes will interpret it as blue. But that's different than actually mixing the grey pigments with some blue ones to create a new swatch.

[seekingferret.livejournal.com]

Having read (and been surprised by) the comments your other friends made, I want to offer an alternative reason why you don't drink to excess: Your friends don't. The control reason makes a certain amount of sense to me, but I don't think it a coincidence that the vast majority of the people who responded avoid alcohol completely or almost completely.

I enjoy an alcoholic beverage from time to time, usually beer, occasionally something harder. If I had money, I'd wake myself up every morning with a shot of single malt Scotch [or maybe I'd do it right before sleep... i haven't decided yet ;-)]. But I don't think I've ever had more than two beers in an evening when on my own. But when I've been out with friends, celebrating something or saying goodbye to someone or observing some other occasion, I will consume far more than that.

[zandperl.livejournal.com]

I had friends in grad school who did drink in higher amounts than I, though not to excess. One of them pressured me a bunch. I stopped hanging out with her. Others pressured me a little, but in a joking way, and I still see them occasionally but do not go out of my way. When time and my life moved on, I didn't go out of my way to see them frequently. My high school and college friends don't really drink, and that's who I still identify as my (face-to-face) friends. Which came first, my friends, or my non-drinking?

As for the respondents here, it is worth noting that only ayashi and did I know in-person before online, and four of the respondents I've never met in person. My online friends are at least 75% separate from my ftf friends, and I had no direct reason upon writing this to know whether most of my LJ friends drink or not.

[gemini6ice.livejournal.com]

I think we gravitate towards friendships with common ground. It's simply more pleasant to spend time with people who would like to spend that time in the same activities. It makes sense that a teetotaler wouldn't particularly enjoy spending time with people in a drunk-off-their-asses setting.

[xoder.livejournal.com]

I've never partaken. I don't like the idea of psychoactive materials at all. Hell, I avoid caffeine unless I know I have to stay up past by what my body wants by at least 4 hours. And, as I have a family history of alcoholism, I'd rather not chance it.

[zandperl.livejournal.com]

I discovered in college that I've a mild sensitivity to caffeine. I use it sparingly as needed, and keep myself well-hydrated at the same time.

I believe my father was an alcoholic during his college days (when he met my mother), I know he used to drink a lot but I don't know how much. I see no need to press him on it.

[gemini6ice.livejournal.com]

When I get depressed, I want a drink. And when I get really stressed, I want a cigarette. Are these cravings genetics combined with knowledge gleaned? Or are they simply environmental?

Of course, I don't give into these cravings. (Okay, I gave into smoking once during a particularly frustrating group software engineering project my senior year)

[gemini6ice.livejournal.com]

Philosophically, I feel the two major "meanings to life" are experience and creation. So caffeine, which doesn't do much but aid in alertness (and therefore making one simply more aware) and productivity (by supplanting adenosine uptake, the process that makes nerves sleepy), is completely all right to me.

[jrtom.livejournal.com]

I hardly ever drink alcohol, although I used to be a lot more dogmatic about it than I am now.

I've tried to get drunk twice, in the spirit of experimentation; it only worked once.

The first time my stomach started to tell me that it didn't want any more malt liquor coolers; at that point I'd drunk about two of those and > half of a fifth of bourbon, and had yet to feel any significant effects.

The second time I went through about a fifth of tequila. (I am apparently not a particularly cheap drunk.) It was while I was touring with a US choir in Mexico. From the inside, I didn't seem very different to me, although my physical coordination was definitely affected. I asked one of my fellow singers what his impression was (and in particular if I'd turned into a jerk or anything), and he told me that as far as he could tell, all it did was (a) make me somewhat louder [and my voice already carried pretty well...] and (b) make my Spanish better (which I found both hilarious and plausible).

That said, I think that one of the other commenters had a point: most of my friends drink either little, or not at all.