[personal profile] asterroc
Regarding the "What do teachers make?" video that I posted, [livejournal.com profile] jrtom found a transcription of it on Taylor Mali's website, provided below. [And just because I'm anal, my own corrections/additions (for the version linked, I expect he's done it multiple times) are in brackets.]

What Teachers Make, or
Objection Overruled, or
If things don't work out, you can always go to law school

By Taylor Mali

He says the problem with teachers is, "What's a kid going to learn
from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?" [Fake laugh]
He reminds the other dinner guests that it's true what they say about
Those who can, do; [and] those who can't, teach. [Fake laugh]

I decide to bite my tongue instead of his
and resist the temptation [urge] to remind the other dinner guests
that it's also true what they say about lawyers.

Because we're eating, after all, and this is polite company [conversation].

"I mean, you're a teacher, Taylor," he says.
"Be honest. What do you make?"

And I wish he hadn't done that
(asked me to be honest)
because, you see, I have a policy
about honesty and ass-kicking [which is]:
if you ask for it, [then] I have to let you have it.

You want to know what I make?

I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could.
I can make a C+ feel like a Congressional medal of honor
and [I can make] an A- feel like a slap in the face.
How dare you waste my time with anything less than your very best.

[You want to know what I make?]

I make kids sit through 40 minutes of study hall
in absolute silence. No, you may [can]not work in groups.
No, you may not [can't] ask a question
[So put your hand down].
Why won't I let you get a drink of water go to the bathroom?
Because you're not thirsty, you're [bored, and you don't really have to go] that's why.

[You want to know what I make?]

I make parents tremble in fear when I call home [at around dinner time]:
[Hi, this is Mr. Mali,] I hope I haven't called at a bad time,
I just wanted to talk to you about something Billy [that your son] said [did] today.
Billy [He] said, "Leave the kid alone. I still cry sometimes, don't you?"
And it was the noblest act of courage [that] I have ever seen.

I make parents see their children for who they are
and what [who] they can be.

You want to know what I make?

I make kids wonder,
I make them [kids] question.
I make them criticize.
I make them apologize and mean it.
I make them write, write, write.
And then I make them read.
I make them spell definitely beautiful, definitely beautiful, definitely
over and over and over again until they will never misspell
either one of those words again.
I make them show all their work in math.
And [then] hide it on their final drafts in English.
I make them understand that if you got this (brains)
then you follow this (heart) and if someone[body] ever tries to judge you
by based what you make, you give them this (the finger).

Let me break it down for you, so you know what I say is true:
I make a goddamn difference! [Now] What about you?
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