"Aura of command"

[asterroc]

I've often heard individuals described as having an "aura of command", "aura of power", or "aura of leadership". Such people are described as having a magnetic personality, of drawing people to them, of entering a room and everyone immediately snaps to attention, of having their every word paid attention to.

I have never met such a person. Do these people, does this quality, really exist? Or is it just a literary hyperbole that people have bought into and pretend exists in real life? Is it just really rare and that's why I haven't encountered it? Is it really common and it's just been the luck of the draw that I haven't met such people? Or am I just insensitive to it?

Comments

[sildra.livejournal.com]

Think back to grade school; think of the most popular clique. Was there a center person in that clique? A sort of founder? Maybe there was even a second-tier clique (especially in middle school, perhaps) where everyone hated this person... but it's always about this same person. That's the sort of person these sorts of descriptions are talking about. It's also sometimes the same thing that makes some people really interesting to talk with, even if they're talking about really mundane topics. It's really a pretty common trait, and a lot of people have it to greater or lesser degrees.

They're the sort of people where, whether or not they have actual tangible power (a management position or whatever), other people want their approval, and want to be liked by them. Failing that, other people at least want to be acknowledged by them, whether in a positive or negative way. They're the sort of people whom everyone has a strong opinion about, whether or not everyone likes them, because you can't help but notice them (although saying "[they enter] a room and everyone immediately snaps to attention, ...their every word [is] paid attention to." is certainly hyperbole).

[zandperl.livejournal.com]

In elementary school I was the outcast so I hated the popular people. In high school my group was outcast, but I was perhaps the leader of my outcast group, and people certainly had strong opinions about me. :-\

[sildra.livejournal.com]

It isn't necessarily all--or most--of the popular people. A lot of them are kind of faceless followers, especially in a large group. It's the leader of the group that counts.

When it's the leader of the outcast group it's hard to say (having been in that position myself a few times). My experience in elementary school was that there was one girl around whom all--well, most--of the other girls in our grade flocked. She was my arch-nemesis, of course. What was great for me, though, was that I was her arch-nemesis, as well; in fact, the narrative in most of our grade was that she had started out hating me, and, in most versions of the story, through no fault of mine. This made me important in that her distorted reflected spotlight fell on me. It meant that anyone who had a problem with her went to me, and tried to be my friend. I wasn't really capable of doing much with that, though.

In the first half of high school I was definitely head of the outcast group, but because I chose to be. In 9th grade I hand-picked a group of outcasts to hang out with me; nearly everyone in the group joined because I asked them to and it was their one opportunity to have friends (I guess one guy did join without being specifically invited, just because he was... umm... drawn to me, but that wasn't the pervasive reason people were in the group).

In late high school and college I found that younger people tended to follow me a lot, and some of them looked to me as someone to emulate or compete with, but I really don't have anything like that effect on people my own age.