1-year Cup-iversary!

[asterroc]

I realized today that it's been more than a year since I got my first cup. To celebrate I just ordered myself a large orange LadyCup. :-D

Using a cup for the last year has given me such freedom, it's really been unexpected - what I thought would happen would be that I'd be using this reusable product to save the Earth, and either it'd be a hassle and I'd stick with it, or it'd be a hassle and I wouldn't stick with it.

I know there shouldn't be a stigma to menstruation (it's entirely natural after all, and half the world's population experiences it), but the reality is that I teach college physics, where my class of 24 students would have at least 20 men in it, and it would always happen that I realized I needed to change my pad or tampon during lab, my bag would be in the front of the room, and I would have to try and discreetly palm my pad or tampon (because women's dress pants can't even fit a tampon in the pocket, let alone a pad, and even if I were the sort of woman to carry a purse I wouldn't in lab), hope none of them saw it while I snuck off, and hope that none of them put out an eye while I was off doing my thing. When I was growing up, my parents had a policy that all "raw" garbage had to be put in the kitchen trash since that was emptied more frequently, and that included my used pads (because my mother never told me about tampons), and I would always get this sick feeling as I walked my used pad from the bathroom to the kitchen, hoping nothing dripped, hoping my dad didn't see. I think I had the same feeling when I had to sneak out of lab to go change my pad or tampon.

Now with a cup, all of that is gone. I can go the entire day without emptying it, and if I do have to empty it I don't need to bring something with me to the bathroom. Just knowing that it's now my choice whether other people know I'm menstruating, that it's entirely under my control, has been so liberating that now I don't mind even talking about it. The last time I visited my parents, it was at the tail end of my period, and I took my cup out to wash it, rested it on the edge of the sink while I brushed my teeth and let it drip, and entirely forgot about it. An hour or two later one of my parents came up and knocked on the closed bedroom door. Their voice was muffled by the door and I didn't notice who it was as they said they thought they found something of mine in the bathroom. I blurted out "Oh, that's my menstrual cup, was it in your way?" before I even thought about who it was, and then my mother came into the room with the cup. "Here it is," she said, "just don't let your father see it, it would bother him."

And looking back now on all those years of puberty, I think the two people most bothered by my menstruation were myself because of my mother drilled into me that menstruation was a Bad Thing, and my mother. I think my father's only worry was that he didn't want to embarrass me, and I think when I'm next visiting them I'm going to ask him about it. It's only been a year using a cup, and my attitude has changed so much, partially from the actual use of the cup, partially from the support I received here in the early months of my usage and the stories I read here, and I like to think partially from my own conscious effort to destigmatize menstruation. Women menstruate. Get over it.

Thanks for all your help here ladies. I can't wait until my OrangeCup gets here - orange is a particularly liberating color for me. I'm half Chinese, and throughout my childhood wearing orange made me look jaundiced as it does many Asians. As an adult now and bolder in what I wear, orange is actually flattering on me. So here's to self-confidence, growing up, cups, menstruation, and orange!

X-posted to menstrual_cups

Comments

[demigoth.livejournal.com]

Between Seasonale and the diva cup, I no longer loathe my body/life when it comes to that particular function. Hooray!

[spazzy444.livejournal.com]

I bought a diva cup the day I found out I was pregnant (before obviously) and I was annoyed. Now I have an IUD again and I just couldn't figure out how to pull it out while making sure the suction was broken. I gave up.

[zandperl.livejournal.com]

It is possible to use a cup with an IUD. I'm pretty sure the menstrual_cups community has a tag about it if you wanted to see how other women managed it.

[meig.livejournal.com]

How was the learning curve? I have HEAVY periods, and I mean HEAVY, and how do you manage? Like, in the stall...your hands get messy, right? It just seems like it would be so messy and inconvenient to have to change it. I tried to find the disposable ones they had out a few years ago but never could find them. Don't remember what they were called anymore, either.

Do you ever have any leakage?

[zandperl.livejournal.com]

Insteads are the disposable ones. Some people do reuse them. The method of inserting Insteads is significantly different from reusable cups, so liking one doesn't necessarily mean you like the other. Try a Whole Foods or Trader Joe's, or any local earthy-crunchy-hippie-granola-type coops.

There's definitely a bit of learning. At first you're right that you do get messy hands because you don't know how often to empty the cup and you don't know the right way to remove it to prevent spilling. It took me maybe 2-3 cycles to learn this. Once you're doing it right, all the blood is trapped in the cup, the bottom/exterior of the cup doesn't get any blood on it at all, so the section of your vagina that you insert your fingers into is clean, and when you remove the cup the blood all stays in the cup, and you remain clean the whole time. It's MUCH cleaner than pads once you know what you're doing (pads really spread the blood around the whole region) and about on par with tampons. I definitely prefer one-seater bathrooms for the rare times I do get some blood on my hands, but if that does happen in a stalled bathroom I just wipe as much as I can off on toilet paper. Some women from menstrual_cups bring in a small bottle of water, or you could bring in damp paper towels.

With a heavy period you would have to empty the cup more often - 12 hours is the max, and my period's on the light side so that's how long I can go. It takes longer to fill the cup than it would a pad or tampon however, so you'll still get the benefit of a longer time between changes.

For me I only get leakage if the cup hasn't popped open fully - you have to kinda squish it to get it in, and then it needs to pop open against the walls of your vagina to stop the blood from exiting and hold it in the cup. Different ways of folding it can make popping open easier or harder, faster or slower, and of course make insertion easier or harder. The fold I'm currently using (called the 7 fold by the menstrual_cups community) for makes insertion very easy, but the cup doesn't easily pop open. It stays squished for maybe 5-15 minutes and then pops open on its own from my normal body movements. During that time it leaks, so I always wear a pantiliner (currently using reusable organic cotton from Glad Rags, primarily because they feel so much softer than disposable pantiliners!). I used to use the C-fold (the standard fold taught in the packets you get with a reusable cup) and that always popped open right away so I didn't get the leakage, but insertion was a little easier with the 7-fold.

Leakage can also depend on the brand and the individual - I'm using a large Diva Cup, I had a large LadyCup for a while and I liked how it inserted better, but I don't recall how leakage compared. And it's different for each person anyway.

[meig.livejournal.com]

Thanks for replying :) Why did you end up with a Diva Cup? I am looking at the Lady Cup so I am getting opinions. I know everyone is different but I still like to know how others feel.

[zandperl.livejournal.com]

I got the Diva because it was available on the shelf at my local earthy crunchy granola hippie food coop, and I was lucky that it worked for me - I didn't know that there were many differences in different cups, and I could very well have hated it and given up on cups. After using it for something like a month I decided to try others, and I first tried the US Keeper Mooncup (confusingly named similar to the European Moon Cup but made by the US company Keeper; the Keeper is made of latex while the Keeper Mooncup is made of silicone) but didn't like it as much (smaller size meant that the silicone seemed stiffer, and I could always feel it within me). I still have it as a backup, in case I lose my Diva and can't get to a store to replace it before my period.

I also got a cheap Lady Cup (they had a batch of colored cups in Feb 2009 where something was wrong with the chemical composition so they tore really easily, so Lady Cup sold them off for less than $10 each, so I gave one a try). I found the Lady Cup somewhat more comfortable than the Diva Cup (and anything was better than the US Keeper Mooncup), but more slick and harder to grab and remove, so on the suggestion of some people in menstrual_cups I turned it inside out. It was much easier to grab and remove that way, but the stress turned out to be too much for its flawed material, and it ripped at one of the air holes, the rip spread down the body, and then around the tip as I tried to remove it, and the tip/base ripped right off the rim inside me! I had to spend some 10 minutes in my boyfriend's parents' bathroom trying to fish out the rim part! I liked the Lady Cup a bunch though except for the expected failure, hence buying one now. Can't wait until it arrives!

[one4theroad.livejournal.com]

Cups are rad. I have a Keeper that I used for quite a while even though it's a tad too long (with all the "tail" cut off). It's still more comfortable and more convenient than tampons &/or pads, IMO. And I conceived with the assistance of an Instead cup :)

[zandperl.livejournal.com]

I have a US Keeper Mooncup as well, and it seems stiffer than the Diva Cup due to its smaller size and thicker walls, so because of that stiffness I always feel it inside me. I don't like it as much. I'm eager for my LadyCup - a year ago they had a bad batch of colored cups that they sold off for $8 because they were tearing easily, and I got one and it was sooo much more comfortable than even the Diva, so I finally splurged (well, $35 with shipping isn't all THAT much) and got a real one. The "trial" cheap colored LadyCup failed in the first week of usage by tearing into two parts inside me!

[one4theroad.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, maybe I'll have to try a Diva or LadyCup one of these days after I have the baby and have use for such things again.

[zandperl.livejournal.com]

Hee. If you have the spare money, I think it's worth trying others. I was lucky that I liked the first one I tried, I could very well have hated it and given up on cups.

[one4theroad.livejournal.com]

I got the Keeper for free (it was a demo sample sent to my friend's sister, who's a midwife), so I guess it wouldn't hurt me to splurge.

[calzephyr77.livejournal.com]

Cool! I really appreciate you posting this :-) Mom has a strange attitude towards menstruation as well - she never ever talked about it and occasionally got angry at me for wanting to talk about it :-P I can't imagine sneaking used product into the kitchen :S

[gemini6ice.livejournal.com]

"I know there shouldn't be a stigma to menstruation... and it would always happen that I realized I needed to change my pad or tampon during lab, my bag would be in the front of the room, and I would have to try and discreetly palm my pad or tampon"

I think there's a general stigma to being obvious about bodily functions at all, maybe moreso for menstruation. I experience lesser but similar embarrassment about taking wet wipes with me to the bathroom at work (sorry, but dry toilet paper does not clean well enough!).

I originally tried to be discreet about it, but people notice, and I have gotten flack, so I try to just ignore any thoughts about others noticing me.

I tell myself that they get skidmarks.

[zandperl.livejournal.com]

Part of what bothered me about being obvious about menstruation is that I was being obvious about it to MEN. If the class was all women it wouldn't bother me as much, but between men not menstruating and (IMO) men being more confrontational about bodily functions (I bet it's always men who give you flack), I didn't like it.