What do teachers make? Reprise

[asterroc]

Regarding the "What do teachers make?" video that I posted, jrtom found a transcription of it on Taylor Mali's website, provided below. [And just because I'm anal, my own corrections/additions (for the version linked, I expect he's done it multiple times) are in brackets.]

What Teachers Make, or
Objection Overruled, or
If things don't work out, you can always go to law school

By Taylor Mali
www.taylormali.com

He says the problem with teachers is, "What's a kid going to learn
from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?" [Fake laugh]
He reminds the other dinner guests that it's true what they say about
teachers:
Those who can, do; [and] those who can't, teach. [Fake laugh]

I decide to bite my tongue instead of his
and resist the temptation [urge] to remind the other dinner guests
that it's also true what they say about lawyers.

Because we're eating, after all, and this is polite company [conversation].

"I mean, you're a teacher, Taylor," he says.
"Be honest. What do you make?"

And I wish he hadn't done that
(asked me to be honest)
because, you see, I have a policy
about honesty and ass-kicking [which is]:
if you ask for it, [then] I have to let you have it.

You want to know what I make?

I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could.
I can make a C+ feel like a Congressional medal of honor
and [I can make] an A- feel like a slap in the face.
How dare you waste my time with anything less than your very best.

[You want to know what I make?]

I make kids sit through 40 minutes of study hall
in absolute silence. No, you may [can]not work in groups.
No, you may not [can't] ask a question
[So put your hand down].
Why won't I let you get a drink of water go to the bathroom?
Because you're not thirsty, you're [bored, and you don't really have to go] that's why.

[You want to know what I make?]

I make parents tremble in fear when I call home [at around dinner time]:
[Hi, this is Mr. Mali,] I hope I haven't called at a bad time,
I just wanted to talk to you about something Billy [that your son] said [did] today.
Billy [He] said, "Leave the kid alone. I still cry sometimes, don't you?"
And it was the noblest act of courage [that] I have ever seen.

I make parents see their children for who they are
and what [who] they can be.

You want to know what I make?

I make kids wonder,
I make them [kids] question.
I make them criticize.
I make them apologize and mean it.
I make them write, write, write.
And then I make them read.
I make them spell definitely beautiful, definitely beautiful, definitely
beautiful
over and over and over again until they will never misspell
either one of those words again.
I make them show all their work in math.
And [then] hide it on their final drafts in English.
I make them understand that if you got this (brains)
then you follow this (heart) and if someone[body] ever tries to judge you
by based what you make, you give them this (the finger).

Let me break it down for you, so you know what I say is true:
I make a goddamn difference! [Now] What about you?

Comments

[greenanimal.livejournal.com]

That's awesome. I always loved my teachers as long as they weren't mean or skeptical of my own work. Teacher's are so underappreciated in this country, it's very sad. Thanks for being a teacher :)

[zandperl.livejournal.com]

The best way you can thank me is by voting in the Presidential primaries and November election for a candidate who supports education. :) I'm looking into who I should support, and I'm sure I'll post when I make a decision. If I don't, feel free to remind me.

[weirdlilfaechld.livejournal.com]

I still adore the last line!

[tri-blog.livejournal.com]

Haha! I LOVE this! Thank you for writing it.

I taught high school students last year. I have the greatest admiration and respect for dedicated teachers.